The Happiest Place on Earth?

Sunny California. The land of sandy beaches, sparkling water, movie stars, mansions, Rodeo Drive, aging hippies, and of course….the happiest place on earth, Disneyland.

 

Just seeing the word Disneyland makes one think of laughter, smiles, hugs, families bonding, the skipping of children from ride to ride, and a world of fantasy come to life.

 

Or, it could mean spilled $6 lemonade at every turn, Mommy I want this, Mommy I want that, my legs are tired so hold me, please hold me, my tummy hurts, can I have cotton candy, my legs are tired HOLD ME, what’s wrong with the camera—did you break it, where’s the damn autograph book, don’t drop that, slow down, hurry up, slow down, if it’s scary just close your eyes, are we there yet, HOLD ME, can I get on your shoulders, I can’t see, I still can’t see, I want to ride it again, no honey it’s too expensive, I think it’s this way, No, it’s that way, I told you I was right, You don’t have to rub it in, I said DIET Coke, not COKE damnit, come back here, another Bailey’s on ice please, why is the line closed, too bad the line isn’t closed, I want to go home, I don’t want to go home…….

 

Although the scenes above were actual events played out by real people and not by actors, it actually was a really good family vacation. I’d say it was about a day too long though. We arrived on Friday afternoon, met up with Hubbie, and hit the park. It turned dark around 5 in California, so it always seemed later than it was, leaving us ultra tired at the end of the day. Kate got just about every favorite character’s autograph, and the princess dinner was a hit. She and her friend both dressed as Cinderella and went to Aerial’s grotto for a (disgusting) dinner with all of the princesses. She was in absolute Heaven, of course, while the parents were in a bizarre, pink-tinted version of Hell  and just about coming to fists over making sure their own little princess got ample face time with Aerial and her crew. Much to Hubbie’s amazement, I stood my ground and defended my daughter’s turf, camera in hand. I think the surrounding moms could see it in my eyes that it was best not to challenge me.

 

The food  at the princess dinner was almost inedible, but then again, you’re really not paying a $100 tab for cold meatloaf or tuna sandwiches, the featured entrees, or for generic Rocky Road ice cream dumped on top of a frozen brownie topped with runny whip cream for dessert.

 

We rode just about every ride she was tall enough for, saw just about every show we could see, and ate just about every crappy pizza or hamburger and French fry meal at the park. I could go another six months without a single fry and be perfectly fine, maybe longer. And we downed just about every $3.50 bottle of water or $5.00 Coke in the park as well.

 

We left Disney on Sunday night and headed to Studio/Universal City. We didn’t really have plans to see Universal Studios but the family we were with was going so we just followed suit. Big waste of money. I mean, some of it was enjoyable and interesting, but for $140 for the 3 of us, I’d say we got about $50 worth of enjoyment out of it. And worse, I had to be a “stunt volunteer” in this sound effects show along with Hubbie where they superimposed me having dinner with The Klumps, fighting off a giant kitty, and other random and ridiculous stuff. Not my finest moment folks. If recorded, that one will definitely ruin my chances of ever being voted into office.

 

But the day before Universal we got really adventurous and decided to cab it to Hollywood Blvd. where we saw the Chinese Theatre with all of the footprints and handprints and the Walk of Fame which was pretty cool and super touristy. Loved the street performers walking around—a bony Wonder Woman, a dirty-looking Spiderman, and an off-brand Mickey Mouse. Then we took a cab to Melrose b/c I wanted to hit some vintage stores and snag a super cool CA treasure. The stupid driver took us to a freaking mall and dumped us off at Macy’s. I can find a treasure there just blocks from my house. So we walked. And walked. And then walked some more. With a four year old, mind you. I’d say we covered about 15 blocks trying to make it to Melrose. We walked for at least an hour. But we cut through some residential neighborhoods and saw some awesome CA homes. I was almost in tears by the time we reached Melrose. I wasn’t in the mood to shop at all. Then we realized Sunset Blvd. wasn’t that far away. So off we went again. Misery. I think Hubbie was trying to “recoup” the $30 wasted cab fare we just spent by punishing ourselves with walking. We conveniently landed near Guitar Center on Sunset . And for those of you who know Hubbie at all, this is his Garden of Eden. It was the where the Hollywood Rock Walk is housed, where all of the guitar greats leave their handprints in cement, as well as the Rock Walk museum—a guitar lover’s dream come true. While he was mesmerized by the memorabilia from Eddie Van Halen and Ace Freeley, Kate and I wandered down a bit where I found love at first credit card swipe.

 

It was a store called Sugar Baby, Rocker Moms; Not Soccer Moms. It had the coolest clothes for kids. I snapped up an oh-so-fitting Rocker Mom; Not A Soccer Mom t-shirt and went next door where I found some seriously hot clothes, making them mine in a matter of minutes. Scored big there. I could have done so much more damage but I realized I was pushing it on time with the Sunset crowd coming out, all while dragging my pre-schooler down the street.

 

Wednesday was a travel day, and it was long and tiring. Too many bags, too tired, everyone in a foul mood. Wine was in order on the way back and Hubbie I partook of it, hardly saying a word because really, there were no more words left. Facial expressions sufficed. That much togetherness over the course of five days had left us both physically and mentally drained. I came back to work and had my cube covered in Post-its, thanks to an email I sent out before I left. Just you wait, marketing girls….. just you wait.

 

Oh, and did I mention that tonight I’ll be working on creating a cardboard sign to hold up on the side of the road, “Will Work to Pay for This Vacation?” Yes, I need a second job or possibly a loan to pay for all of this. The cab fares alone could have paid for an all-inclusive trip for 2 to Mexico. Then to come home and read the last rites to our dishwasher….yes, it’s an expensive month in this household.

 

This morning the baby cried for her breakfast. I flew up the stairs, so anxious to see her. I hadn’t seen her in about a week. She didn’t really notice me, downed her bottle, and looked up. She stared at me for a long time then started to cry. When my Mom took her, she stopped. She had totally bonded with my Mom! When Hubbie went to pick her up, she screamed like a needle was poking her. She was terrified of him. We have spent the entire evening kissing our baby’s butt/sucking up to her, trying to make her like us again. Geez Louise.

 

It’s good to be home. In a year’s time, I have been pregnant, given birth, taken my oldest daughter to Disneyworld while six months pregnant, and now to Disneyland while leaving my baby at home. I think that is quite a lot of “kid stuff.” The last relaxing vacation for two was 3 summers ago. I’d say I’m overdue for one of those. I actually started planning one to Cabo on the plane ride back. As soon as I get enough change in my plastic Taco Bell cup from standing on the side of the road begging for money to fund this damn trip, I’m SO there.

 

I have tons of vacation pics to post. They just haven’t been downloaded yet. I will probably get it done over the weekend. Now I’m headed to what I call the happiest place on earth, a nice Bailey’s on ice and hitting the couch to watch Tivo’d Desperate Housewives next to Hubbie while he works on his laptop, kids in bed. Yes, my friends, dreams can come true!

 

‘Til then……